3 years. 10/27/11

Shattered glass… Thats what it feels like. A million pieces that can never really be put back together. You were everything; more than anyone could ever ask for. I remember when we first acknowledged each others existence. It was magic from the start. There wasn’t a single day where you didn’t cross my mind. You were part of everything I did; it was routine. “Would he like it if I said this about people? Would he like if I cut all my hair off?” in hopes that if we met, I could be a little more perfect in his eyes. I made personal changes because I was in love. Still to this day, I would reminisce about possibilities that never occurred. We used to text paragraphs to each other, but now I’m lucky if I could get a full sentence out of you. Nonetheless, I tried my hardest even though it was one of the most painful experiences I’ve ever been through. Relentlessly, I kept a smile on my face. I always tried. I really wanted to believe that we could make something out of nothing and often, I would wonder what I was doing wrong during those silent nights. I tried to gauge whether I would be happier single, or struggle to make ends meet… but even though conversation was limited after I tried, you were simply worth waiting for. I chose to wait because you were more than I could ever ask for. Now I realize that Ive asked for the impossible; For someone out of my leauge to love me back. You see, I have this notion which I personally believe in great things. I’m not a perfect person but I wanted that happily ever after that everyone feels they deserve… but obviously, its only great if its reciprocated. You were simply that happily ever after I wanted…. Its a hopeless romance that never came to be…. But one day, you’ll find someone that will make you happier than the attempted efforts that I unsuccessfuly made. You’ll find a boy that will make you the happiest person in the world. Head over heels in love. He’ll make you feel whole. You guys would argue about little things to improve on the magical relationship that I wish I had with you. I can just imagine it right now. “How many times have I asked you to put the toilet seat down after using the bathroom?” “I’m tired of doing the dishes all the time” And there would be magical times… “I love the way you look at me.” “Tell me that you love me.” “I love that sweet icy cologne that you wear because you know I love it”. All these little things that make the relationship you will have utterly perfect in your eyes. You’ll wake up to his morning breath and still make out with him at 11:00 AM because you give no fucks about it. He’ll have the most unforgettable orgasm face. He might not wash his hair everyday. But it doesn’t matter, Because in your eyes, he’s perfect. You’ll always have him to go home to at night to make you laugh, smile, and be happy. You wore green while I wore blue. Everything was blue. Everything mattered, even if it wasn’t meant to be. But thats okay. You’re a Leo. I’m an Aquarius. Sometimes opposites don’t attract. Air only makes the flames bigger But I guess this time, it blew it out. Every single droplet of water I touch would never be from the mermaid lagoon again. Maybe thats why Peter and Wendy was simply a romance that was never meant to be. The second start to the right will always be there, right? I guess I never found it. Here I am praying to a god I don’t believe in simply in hopes that I forget the past 3 years. This is where the magic began and here is where I’ll end it. So now I say farewell for this is where we met…